The 37th Beethoven Letter
Dear All,
I’m probably not dying. Not right away, not anytime soon. It may be years. But I’ve been disabled to the point where I can no longer teach or use my healing touch. My healing gift has become greatly diminished. There is no consensus among my doctors. It’s mainly fatigue and shortness of breath if I speak for too long or walk too fast. I am not in pain and I don’t feel I am in immediate danger. I am not suffering. There is no prescribed treatment yet, as we don’t know what is wrong. Will I get better? Will I get worse and leave? Will I stay as I am? This is not yet known. I am tidying up a few things in case. I am saddened, but not afraid.
I have been feeling these changes coming on gradually the last few years. I’ve felt a lessening of energy in ways that rest did not restore. It became critical last fall when breathing got very difficult. I’ve not worked since that time. More tests are coming. It’s a very big change.
I gave myself to a life work of healing trauma through a spiritual gift of releasing pain. This began in the summer of 1982. My last teaching engagement was in the fall of 2020. It’s been 38 years of a traveling work with much Light speaking to great need. I’ve worked in the crises of rape, AIDS, prisons, tortured refugees, ritual abuse, among others. All this by invitations to work and gifts of support. This was within the tradition of Quaker ministry and following a leading. I’m also the founding convener of The Quaker Initiative to End Torture- QUIT! since 2005 and still publish news of American torture on the QUIT website and FaceBook. I enclose my calendars- 1982 to 2020. I’ve been well used. There has been much Light and much work.
Both my books are available on Kindle- paper from Quaker Books and paper & Kindle from Amazon. Progress on my third book, a memoir of healing my own life wounds and becoming a healer, is my current work- along with clearing my archives to be given to a Quaker college library. All this goes slowly as you can imagine. I am 69 on May 14. Every day is not a good energy day. I expect my excessive qualities of stubbornness to prevail as I continue to write.
To be clear- I am not in pain or current danger. I am not suffering or homebound, but energy is quite limited. I am grieving that a grand work that took years to learn and perform gracefully has for the most part ended, at least I think so. I’ll write and will put archive audio/video recordings on my website. Marshall & I have much to adjust to. He’s been my anchor.
I have lived and worked primarily by invitations and gifts since 1982. I still need your gifts. My living has been simple- a small home, limited income- i.e. no dental work and snow tires purchased in the same month. Your help over the years has been the lifeline that kept me going. It still is. I hope you will take this message to heart. Please be careful - I have no capacity for the burden of others’ grief. It’s a time be glad for what has been a great ride. Imagine a person doing good works, people seeing it, and supporting it for nearly 4 decades. Amazing and humbling! Thank you, thank you, thank you. And please send a gift.
In the Light, May 2021
John Calvi
PO Box 301 Putney VT 05346 paypalme/JohnCalvi www.johncalvi.com
