Touch – John Calvi  March 2020

 

I want to say somethings about touch- to remind you how important touch is, especially during this time of not touching.  I am speaking with some authority as one with thirty-eight years of experience as a touch professional, a Certified Massage Therapist specializing in trauma.

First, a few basics.  People need touch.  No really!  This is serious.  The absence of touch can be the basis for clinical depression.  Humans depend on touch to feel connected, joined to, engaged with others.  Even in cultures where touch must only be done privately, there are ways that touch is allowed to meet needs of all.

We’ve known for a long time that mothers breastfeeding a child have a release of oxytocin, a hormone that relaxes babe and mom deeply.  We’ve recently found out that every person experiences a release of oxytocin whenever they are touched – the difference being that people have varying amounts of that release.  Those huggy people we all know- big releases.

Touching yourself is an important technique known for keeping you informed of your body’s health and well-being.  Running your hands over your skin can tell you where skin might be dry, pimply, or bruised.  Scratching your back or scalp can bring increased circulation and increase relaxation.  Running your fingers through your hair at bedtime is an old tradition to help the mind slow down for sleep time.

Here’s some touch that can be done with another or on your own.  Foot massage before bed- put two drops of oil or lotion in the palms of your hand and rub together.  Now do a long stroke with your palms facing each other and draw your hands together, squeezing the whole foot from toes to heel and back again – as though you are squeezing the water out of a wet hunk of clay.  Next – pinch the heel- using your thumb and index finger squeeze around the edge of the heel and rub the base.  Now- using your fingertips – make three lines of small circles going from the bottom of the foot just above the heel to the toes.  Three lines – outside, middle, inside of the sole of the foot.  Next – beginning just above the heel, using your fingertips, make a line of small circles across the foot outside to inside.  Then another line above that and another, until you reach the base of the toes.  Next – squish and pull on each toe, wrapping your fingers around each one.  Then go back to that first step with your palms facing each other and stroking the length of the foot back and forth like squeezing the water out of wet clay.  And that’s it!  Do that on one foot and then notice of difference your feet feel from one another.  One will feel alive and the other will be saying ME TOO!  This is a very good habit to improve sleep (include drinking a big glass of water).

It seems there is a lot of touch early in life and less and less as time goes by.  When a new baby comes into a family, there is a rush to hold that child and great delight in doing so for both child and lucky adult.  Touch changes as we grow old. And there can be a lack of touch for the oldest of us.  That can be taken care of with a big hug when greeting and departing.  It’s an important matter of physical and mental health.

During this time of “social distancing” we must be careful.  Everyone who adheres to this discipline around this new virus will likely be saving lives – their own and others.  But some of us are isolating with other people and touch that is respectful and compassionate should continue as before.  Don’t let fear come between us when it’s unnecessary.  Touch, hold on, get close and remember this connection can help each one get through this time of unknows and so many deaths.  Wash your hands?  Of course.  Lots!  AND make sure there is enough touch to bring yourself connection and body awareness.