I just wanted to let you know that a talk I gave to Burlington Friends Meeting in VT made it's way on to community TV. This is a QUIT Update (QUIT - The Quaker Initiative to End Torture). There are no explicit horror stories here about torture, only the questions about our democracy since American torture continues.
http://www.cctv.org/watch-tv/programs/burlington-friends-meeting-discussion-john-calvi-quaker-initiative-end-torture
Please share this widely.
Thanks, John
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
4th QUIT Conference - Quaker Initiative to End Torture
Dear All,
Thank you for all your notes and for holding the QUIT conference in the
Light. The conference was excellent! All 4 presenters outdid themselves in
presenting current information from their fields.
Terry Kupers, author of Prison Madness, gave us clear information about how the use of torture in
American prisons results in deformed people unable to live as whole humans.
Fr Roy Bourgeois explained the history of the School of the Americas and the
torture training for more than 60,000 Latin American military and police
that continues.
Scott Horton, lawyer and Harper's magazine writer of the No
Comment column, explained the legal context in which Obama not only
continues Bush policies but in some instances makes things worse regarding
torture.
And Hector Aristizabal, Columbian therapist and torture survivor,
showed us how movement and play can help us integrate all the information
and subsequent emotions after learning so much about torture.
California has good and active groups working against torture and we heard of several
actions taken in recent years- everything from clown protests to
legislation. Friends from Durham, North Carolina and Bosie, Idaho and
Eugene, Oregon along with mostly Californians attended, plus several
non-Quakers joined us. Meeting for worship in the Redwood forest was
as amazing as one might imagine
Thanks again for your good care and support, John
Thank you for all your notes and for holding the QUIT conference in the
Light. The conference was excellent! All 4 presenters outdid themselves in
presenting current information from their fields.
Terry Kupers, author of Prison Madness, gave us clear information about how the use of torture in
American prisons results in deformed people unable to live as whole humans.
Fr Roy Bourgeois explained the history of the School of the Americas and the
torture training for more than 60,000 Latin American military and police
that continues.
Scott Horton, lawyer and Harper's magazine writer of the No
Comment column, explained the legal context in which Obama not only
continues Bush policies but in some instances makes things worse regarding
torture.
And Hector Aristizabal, Columbian therapist and torture survivor,
showed us how movement and play can help us integrate all the information
and subsequent emotions after learning so much about torture.
California has good and active groups working against torture and we heard of several
actions taken in recent years- everything from clown protests to
legislation. Friends from Durham, North Carolina and Bosie, Idaho and
Eugene, Oregon along with mostly Californians attended, plus several
non-Quakers joined us. Meeting for worship in the Redwood forest was
as amazing as one might imagine
Thanks again for your good care and support, John
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Mapping
Mapping – John Calvi September 2010
I’ve a box full of maps. Going through the box to find maps I might use, I find odd sorts of things. Here are 5 postcards bought in Spain and one written out to me but unsent- Marshall had some work in Salamanca Spain. And there’s a map of the solar system- now that’s a hell of a drive. Mostly it’s state maps and various beach towns- vacation to me generally means beach. But these are mainly maps from work. Here’s a Denver/Boulder map from when I was in Massage School in the early 80’s. Here’s a map of Costa Rica from that international torture conference in 88. And under it all are old notices of the ferry schedules across Lake Champlain, Vermont to New York, from several years.
When I teach in a city I haven’t been to before, I try to get a map and keep it. I’ve always loved maps. Some parts travel worry me, but as soon as a map is laid out in front of me I get a familiar itch to just go. Buying the new Rand McNally road atlas each year is a delight I cherish. I love driving to new places, seeing new landscapes. Since I’ve been in cozy little New England most of my life, almost everywhere else looks and feels different. This time I will drive a northern route across country I’ve never seen, including the Badlands and Eastern Oregon.
I am packing for a 33 day trip driving through 22 states, almost 8,000 miles. I’m teaching in 5 states, 6 cities. I’m looking over maps and making lists of things to bring, things to get, things to do before leaving in one week. I haven’t been away for a whole month in years and years. Do I own enough underwear? Will packing 3 suitcases for 5 days each make it easier? Is there enough music in the car to carry me through the long mid-west twice? Will there be snow in Idaho? Will there be sandstorms in Arizona? Will my 4 year old car be patient with me and show mercy? Do I have the names, phone numbers, and addresses for each of the 21 stops I’m making? Where am I staying in ID? Where’s the meetinghouse in Albuquerque? And what time do I begin in Missoula?
I want to do a bit of blogging each day and let people know how the trip is going. I may not have internet access each day but often enough to give some feel for what’s happening. I am just now beginning to get away from the computer and stacking things in piles to put in the car. I’ve one more laundry to do, plus some things at the cleaners, and most importantly my mechanic is doing a special check on everything to help my Saab cross the Rockies, go down the west coast, and brave the Southwest deserts before returning to quaint little Putney, VT. I am thinking that the hard part will be the too little time to linger and enjoy a new setting, but rather charge on in a schedule created to get much done in several places. Some day I will do a similar route with more time and Marshall by my side, I hope. (He will be working in Korea much of the time I am gone.)
For now I am cleaning my desks to be sure I haven’t misplace a vital cell phone number for California. And that’s all before my favorite part of travel- choosing luggage. Oh dear, no matter what I do, some weirdness leaks out.
I’ve a box full of maps. Going through the box to find maps I might use, I find odd sorts of things. Here are 5 postcards bought in Spain and one written out to me but unsent- Marshall had some work in Salamanca Spain. And there’s a map of the solar system- now that’s a hell of a drive. Mostly it’s state maps and various beach towns- vacation to me generally means beach. But these are mainly maps from work. Here’s a Denver/Boulder map from when I was in Massage School in the early 80’s. Here’s a map of Costa Rica from that international torture conference in 88. And under it all are old notices of the ferry schedules across Lake Champlain, Vermont to New York, from several years.
When I teach in a city I haven’t been to before, I try to get a map and keep it. I’ve always loved maps. Some parts travel worry me, but as soon as a map is laid out in front of me I get a familiar itch to just go. Buying the new Rand McNally road atlas each year is a delight I cherish. I love driving to new places, seeing new landscapes. Since I’ve been in cozy little New England most of my life, almost everywhere else looks and feels different. This time I will drive a northern route across country I’ve never seen, including the Badlands and Eastern Oregon.
I am packing for a 33 day trip driving through 22 states, almost 8,000 miles. I’m teaching in 5 states, 6 cities. I’m looking over maps and making lists of things to bring, things to get, things to do before leaving in one week. I haven’t been away for a whole month in years and years. Do I own enough underwear? Will packing 3 suitcases for 5 days each make it easier? Is there enough music in the car to carry me through the long mid-west twice? Will there be snow in Idaho? Will there be sandstorms in Arizona? Will my 4 year old car be patient with me and show mercy? Do I have the names, phone numbers, and addresses for each of the 21 stops I’m making? Where am I staying in ID? Where’s the meetinghouse in Albuquerque? And what time do I begin in Missoula?
I want to do a bit of blogging each day and let people know how the trip is going. I may not have internet access each day but often enough to give some feel for what’s happening. I am just now beginning to get away from the computer and stacking things in piles to put in the car. I’ve one more laundry to do, plus some things at the cleaners, and most importantly my mechanic is doing a special check on everything to help my Saab cross the Rockies, go down the west coast, and brave the Southwest deserts before returning to quaint little Putney, VT. I am thinking that the hard part will be the too little time to linger and enjoy a new setting, but rather charge on in a schedule created to get much done in several places. Some day I will do a similar route with more time and Marshall by my side, I hope. (He will be working in Korea much of the time I am gone.)
For now I am cleaning my desks to be sure I haven’t misplace a vital cell phone number for California. And that’s all before my favorite part of travel- choosing luggage. Oh dear, no matter what I do, some weirdness leaks out.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The 26th Beethoven Letter April 2010
The 26th Beethoven Letter by John Calvi
Dear Friends,
There is a particular discipline that comes with my duel works of healing trauma and ending torture. It is a discipline of attending to the immediate particulars while keeping an eye on the far horizon. While attending to the moment of right now, I keep in mind the time to come and bridging the two with great possibilities. I listen to the story of pain in one person while hearing what can be lifted and washed. I teach yet another group about continuing American torture, careful to set a tone that a time is coming when there will be no torture. This discipline has gotten steadier within me over the last 28 years. It is as necessary as breath and water. It is a tone as well as a posture, a perspective as well as a philosophy. Hope is not some random feeling of optimism but a tool, a great torch to be carried into places without Light.
And so spring comes and I am on the road. Marshall and I were legally married in Vermont a week after our 20th wedding anniversary and the town clerk asked if I was sure about this man. Since my work began in 1982, invitations to work and gifts to live have been my growing regular schedule. This year I am honored to be an invited speaker to New York Yearly Meeting as the founding convener of The Quaker Initiative to End Torture. And to be joining others for QUIT’s 4th conference taking place September 24-26 2010 at Quaker Center in Ben Lomond, California. I continue to teach healing at Friends General Conference, Pendle Hill, and Powell House. And I’ll make several new stops as invitations and my calendar grows- updates on my website. Both works continue with great need and few changes.
I need your help this year particularly with replacing my car. My 10 year old Saab insisted on retirement and a wonderful 4 year old Saab took the challenge thanks to my honest Mennonite mechanic, Al Scott. He keeps me on the road in safe affordable winter cars. Your help with this new debt would be a wonderful support I’d be very grateful for. Your generosity will be carefully used and deeply appreciated.
Many parts make my work possible. First there is the leading and spiritual gift to release pain. Then there is you- from you come the invitations to teach and the support that make work and living possible. It’s not easy to live on gifts- suspense is more than interesting. But it’s a dance we’ve been in now for 27 years. And I am very grateful for your part and mine. Please help me to continue a life work in these times.
In the Light,
John Calvi, April 2010
PO Box 301 Putney VT 05346 www.johncalvi.com
WWW.JOHNCALVI.COM
New engagement dates, photos, and writings at my website- also a journal blog.
My thanks to Sehoon Ahn & Sean Conley for website expertise.
John Calvi’s Partial Incomplete 2010 Calendar (as of April)
March 13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture QUIT Update Meeting School Rindge NH www.themeetingschool.org
April 17-19 Lake Forest Friends Meeting Retreat Leader & QUIT Update Lake Forest IL
June 20-24 Pendle Hill Washed in Light by Tender Hands Wallingford PA www.pendlehill.org
July 4-10 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness Bowling Green OH www.fgcquaker.org QUIT Update
July 16 VT People with AIDS Coalition Workshops Massage Stowe VT www.vtpwac.org
July 18-24 New York Yearly Meeting QUIT Plenary Monday Silver Lake NY www.nyym.org
August 8-12 New England Yearly Meeting NEYM.org Smithfield, RI
September 20-22 Dragonfly Transitions workshops Klamath Falls OR www.dragonflyadventures.com
September 24-26 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Quaker Ctr Ben Lomond CA
www.quit-torture-now.org
October 23 Conference on Torture & Healing Burlington Meeting Burlington VT
November 19-21 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Conference Old Chatham NY www.powellhouse.org
Please send a gift to my address below, THANKS!
Definitions- tax law says a donation carries the expectation of work for which I am taxed. A gift is given out of respect, affection, or charity, such as
my birthday- May 14, my wedding anniversary- August 26, or a Christmas gift.
P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!
Postage is prohibitive. I need to reduce paper mail to actual live Beethoven Letter readers. I am happy to keep you on my Beethoven mailing list Email or paper. Simply send word. Please help by sending your e-mail address to calvij@sover.net or a postcard to P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
Dear Friends,
There is a particular discipline that comes with my duel works of healing trauma and ending torture. It is a discipline of attending to the immediate particulars while keeping an eye on the far horizon. While attending to the moment of right now, I keep in mind the time to come and bridging the two with great possibilities. I listen to the story of pain in one person while hearing what can be lifted and washed. I teach yet another group about continuing American torture, careful to set a tone that a time is coming when there will be no torture. This discipline has gotten steadier within me over the last 28 years. It is as necessary as breath and water. It is a tone as well as a posture, a perspective as well as a philosophy. Hope is not some random feeling of optimism but a tool, a great torch to be carried into places without Light.
And so spring comes and I am on the road. Marshall and I were legally married in Vermont a week after our 20th wedding anniversary and the town clerk asked if I was sure about this man. Since my work began in 1982, invitations to work and gifts to live have been my growing regular schedule. This year I am honored to be an invited speaker to New York Yearly Meeting as the founding convener of The Quaker Initiative to End Torture. And to be joining others for QUIT’s 4th conference taking place September 24-26 2010 at Quaker Center in Ben Lomond, California. I continue to teach healing at Friends General Conference, Pendle Hill, and Powell House. And I’ll make several new stops as invitations and my calendar grows- updates on my website. Both works continue with great need and few changes.
I need your help this year particularly with replacing my car. My 10 year old Saab insisted on retirement and a wonderful 4 year old Saab took the challenge thanks to my honest Mennonite mechanic, Al Scott. He keeps me on the road in safe affordable winter cars. Your help with this new debt would be a wonderful support I’d be very grateful for. Your generosity will be carefully used and deeply appreciated.
Many parts make my work possible. First there is the leading and spiritual gift to release pain. Then there is you- from you come the invitations to teach and the support that make work and living possible. It’s not easy to live on gifts- suspense is more than interesting. But it’s a dance we’ve been in now for 27 years. And I am very grateful for your part and mine. Please help me to continue a life work in these times.
In the Light,
John Calvi, April 2010
PO Box 301 Putney VT 05346 www.johncalvi.com
WWW.JOHNCALVI.COM
New engagement dates, photos, and writings at my website- also a journal blog.
My thanks to Sehoon Ahn & Sean Conley for website expertise.
John Calvi’s Partial Incomplete 2010 Calendar (as of April)
March 13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture QUIT Update Meeting School Rindge NH www.themeetingschool.org
April 17-19 Lake Forest Friends Meeting Retreat Leader & QUIT Update Lake Forest IL
June 20-24 Pendle Hill Washed in Light by Tender Hands Wallingford PA www.pendlehill.org
July 4-10 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness Bowling Green OH www.fgcquaker.org QUIT Update
July 16 VT People with AIDS Coalition Workshops Massage Stowe VT www.vtpwac.org
July 18-24 New York Yearly Meeting QUIT Plenary Monday Silver Lake NY www.nyym.org
August 8-12 New England Yearly Meeting NEYM.org Smithfield, RI
September 20-22 Dragonfly Transitions workshops Klamath Falls OR www.dragonflyadventures.com
September 24-26 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Quaker Ctr Ben Lomond CA
www.quit-torture-now.org
October 23 Conference on Torture & Healing Burlington Meeting Burlington VT
November 19-21 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Conference Old Chatham NY www.powellhouse.org
Please send a gift to my address below, THANKS!
Definitions- tax law says a donation carries the expectation of work for which I am taxed. A gift is given out of respect, affection, or charity, such as
my birthday- May 14, my wedding anniversary- August 26, or a Christmas gift.
P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!
Postage is prohibitive. I need to reduce paper mail to actual live Beethoven Letter readers. I am happy to keep you on my Beethoven mailing list Email or paper. Simply send word. Please help by sending your e-mail address to calvij@sover.net
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Year End Letter 2009
John Calvi’s Year End Letter November 2009
Dear Friends,
2009 has been a full and wonderful year of travel work following my 2008 sabbatical. I worked with 24 groups in 12 states. From planning meetings for The Quaker Initiative to End Torture- QUIT in DC to the main plenary at North Pacific Yearly Meeting in Montana to the Dragonfly Transitions young adult treatment center in Oregon, I was well used in the right places. 13 of these were return invitations, a good sign that I am useful in on-going work and continue to be well received. The new invitations were a delight.
I’m often asked did sabbatical change things, was it good, how was it to re-enter? Yes, sabbatical was very good- right on time, life-saving. I am refreshed and glad to be back. I did/do more writing- see my blog via my website – Both prayer and work are deeper than before. I was also shocked to discover how old I’ve become – if you are too busy to notice that decades have passed, that’s TOO busy! 60 is 2.5 years away and I cannot for the life of me comprehend how this happened. And it was surprising to love being a hermit- my solitude and quiet needs have grown with the years and the work. Tons of people contact with re-entry was both welcome and challenging.
Work has changed a bit over the years. More groups have me in to help them heal conflict. While trauma survivors still attend all workshops and speeches, there is also a large draw from clergy, health care professionals, and various kinds of leadership. I think in part this is due to the state of the world being in so much pain and many many people overwhelmed by the their work. While there is hope, there is also exhaustion, despair, and some doubt about doing ones best for the long haul. My path has been very particular in learning and teaching such things. I also did QUIT Updates on every one of my stops this year. I’ve learned to work in places where reverence is valued.
The scenario of working by invitation and living mainly on gifts would appear risky. And after 27 years I confess to looking over my shoulder now and again wondering if I am still aloft. One leaps expecting a net and is wonderfully surprised to discover flight. My work – healing for trauma survivors, teaching and mentoring to healers and others with ministry, convening The Quaker Initiative to End Torture - QUIT, and writing – has been made possible by the generosity of many. And by your trust, for which I am eternally grateful. There is much good that needs doing and I have plans for some of that. Thanks to you more will be possible.
I ask you please to give generously. You know I am tried and true and the need is great. I go on, knowing that you and I are doing our best, that has always been what’s needed.
In the Light, John
John Calvi PO Box 301 Putney VT 05346 www.johncalvi.com calvij@sover.net
WWW.JOHNCALVI.COM
New engagement dates, new photos, and new writings at my website- also a new journal blog.
My thanks to Sehoon Ahn for website expertise.
John Calvi’s Completed Calendar 2009
March 12-13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture- Planning Mtgs Wash, DC
March 28 Mountain View Meeting of Quakers- Healing www.mountainviewfriends Denver, CO
March 29 Colorado Regional Spring Gathering of Quakers- Speaker Denver, CO
April 24-26 Woolman Hill Abandon All Weariness woolmanhill.org Deerfield, MA
May 30 Pendle Hill Lay Down the Burden & Rest pendlehill.org Wallingford, PA
June 14 Putney Friends Mtg Quaker Initiative to End Torture Noon Putney, VT
June 15 CONTACT International Peace Conf School for International Training Brattleboro, VT
June 27-July 4 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness fgcquaker.org Blacksburg, VA
July 15-19 North Pacific Yearly Mtg Plenary Speaker, wkshps npym.org Missoula, MT
August 3-5 New England Yearly Meeting workshops QUIT neym.org Smithfield, RI
August 9 N. Sandwich Friends Meeting QUIT Update N Sandwich, NH
September 18 Friends House QUIT Update www.friendshouse.org Santa Rosa, CA
September 19-20 Redwood Forest Mtg Healing Community, Meeting for Healing Santa Rosa, CA
September 25-27 Quaker Ctr Restoration/Preparation/Light w.quakercenter.org Ben Lomond, CA
Sep 30 -Oct 2 Multnomah & Bridge Ctiy Mtg Energy Work, QUIT, Mtg for Healing Portland, OR
October 1 West Hill Friends Church QUIT Update www.westhillsfriends.org Portland, OR
October 3-4 Willamette Quarterly Mtg Plenary Speaker, QUIT Update, Healing Mt Hood, OR
October 6-7 Dragonfly Transitions Students Healing www.dragonflyadventures.com Klamath Falls, OR
October 7 Klamath Falls Friends Church QUIT Update Klamath Falls, OR
Nov 6-8 2009 Powell House The Body as Temple Old Chatham, NY
Nov 14 Wellness Works Holistic Health Center Glendale, CA
Nov 14 Santa Monica Mtg On Healing
Nov 15 Claremont Meeting QUIT Update
2010 John Calvi’s Partial Incomplete 2010 Calendar (as of November 2009)
February 13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture QUIT Update Meeting School Rindge NH
April 17, 19 Lake Forest Friends Meeting Retreat Lake Forest IL
June 20-24 Pendle Hill Washed in Light by Tender Hands Wallingford PA
July 4-10 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness Bowling Green OH
July 16 VT People with AIDS Coalition Workshops Massage Stowe VT
July 18-24 New York Yearly Meeting QUIT Update Silver Lake NY
August 8-12 New England Yearly Meeting workshops QUIT Update Smithfield, RI
September 24-26 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Quaker Ctr Ben Lomond CA
November 2010 Healing from Life Wounds Powell House Old Chatham NY
November 19-21 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Conference Old Chatham NY
PLEASE SEND A GIFT TO MY ADDRESS BELOW.
Definitions- tax law says a donation carries the expectation of work for which I am taxed.
A gift is given out of respect, affection, or charity, such as
my birthday- May 14, my wedding anniversary- August 26, or a Christmas gift.
P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
IMPORTANT!
Postage is prohibitive. I need to reduce paper mail to actual live Beethoven Letter readers. I am happy to keep you on my Beethoven mailing list Email or paper. Simply send word. Please help by sending your e-mail address to calvij@sover.net or a postcard to P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
Dear Friends,
2009 has been a full and wonderful year of travel work following my 2008 sabbatical. I worked with 24 groups in 12 states. From planning meetings for The Quaker Initiative to End Torture- QUIT in DC to the main plenary at North Pacific Yearly Meeting in Montana to the Dragonfly Transitions young adult treatment center in Oregon, I was well used in the right places. 13 of these were return invitations, a good sign that I am useful in on-going work and continue to be well received. The new invitations were a delight.
I’m often asked did sabbatical change things, was it good, how was it to re-enter? Yes, sabbatical was very good- right on time, life-saving. I am refreshed and glad to be back. I did/do more writing- see my blog via my website –
Work has changed a bit over the years. More groups have me in to help them heal conflict. While trauma survivors still attend all workshops and speeches, there is also a large draw from clergy, health care professionals, and various kinds of leadership. I think in part this is due to the state of the world being in so much pain and many many people overwhelmed by the their work. While there is hope, there is also exhaustion, despair, and some doubt about doing ones best for the long haul. My path has been very particular in learning and teaching such things. I also did QUIT Updates on every one of my stops this year. I’ve learned to work in places where reverence is valued.
The scenario of working by invitation and living mainly on gifts would appear risky. And after 27 years I confess to looking over my shoulder now and again wondering if I am still aloft. One leaps expecting a net and is wonderfully surprised to discover flight. My work – healing for trauma survivors, teaching and mentoring to healers and others with ministry, convening The Quaker Initiative to End Torture - QUIT, and writing – has been made possible by the generosity of many. And by your trust, for which I am eternally grateful. There is much good that needs doing and I have plans for some of that. Thanks to you more will be possible.
I ask you please to give generously. You know I am tried and true and the need is great. I go on, knowing that you and I are doing our best, that has always been what’s needed.
In the Light, John
John Calvi PO Box 301 Putney VT 05346 www.johncalvi.com calvij@sover.net
WWW.JOHNCALVI.COM
New engagement dates, new photos, and new writings at my website- also a new journal blog.
My thanks to Sehoon Ahn for website expertise.
John Calvi’s Completed Calendar 2009
March 12-13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture- Planning Mtgs
March 28 Mountain View Meeting of Quakers- Healing www.mountainviewfriends Denver, CO
March 29 Colorado Regional Spring Gathering of Quakers- Speaker Denver, CO
April 24-26 Woolman Hill Abandon All Weariness woolmanhill.org Deerfield, MA
May 30 Pendle Hill Lay Down the Burden & Rest pendlehill.org Wallingford, PA
June 14 Putney Friends Mtg Quaker Initiative to End Torture Noon Putney, VT
June 15 CONTACT International Peace Conf School for International Training Brattleboro, VT
June 27-July 4 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness fgcquaker.org Blacksburg, VA
July 15-19 North Pacific Yearly Mtg Plenary Speaker, wkshps npym.org Missoula, MT
August 3-5 New England Yearly Meeting workshops QUIT neym.org Smithfield, RI
August 9 N. Sandwich Friends Meeting QUIT Update N Sandwich, NH
September 18 Friends House QUIT Update www.friendshouse.org Santa Rosa, CA
September 19-20 Redwood Forest Mtg Healing Community, Meeting for Healing Santa Rosa, CA
September 25-27 Quaker Ctr Restoration/Preparation/Light w.quakercenter.org Ben Lomond, CA
Sep 30 -Oct 2 Multnomah & Bridge Ctiy Mtg Energy Work, QUIT, Mtg for Healing Portland, OR
October 1 West Hill Friends Church QUIT Update www.westhillsfriends.org Portland, OR
October 3-4 Willamette Quarterly Mtg Plenary Speaker, QUIT Update, Healing Mt Hood, OR
October 6-7 Dragonfly Transitions Students Healing www.dragonflyadventures.com Klamath Falls, OR
October 7 Klamath Falls Friends Church QUIT Update Klamath Falls, OR
Nov 6-8 2009 Powell House The Body as Temple
Nov 14 Wellness Works Holistic Health Center
Nov 14 Santa Monica Mtg On Healing
Nov 15 Claremont Meeting QUIT Update
2010 John Calvi’s Partial Incomplete 2010 Calendar (as of November 2009)
February 13 Quaker Initiative to End Torture QUIT Update Meeting School Rindge NH
April 17, 19 Lake Forest Friends Meeting Retreat Lake Forest IL
June 20-24 Pendle Hill Washed in Light by Tender Hands Wallingford PA
July 4-10 Friends General Conference Abandon All Weariness Bowling Green OH
July 16 VT People with AIDS Coalition Workshops Massage Stowe VT
July 18-24 New York Yearly Meeting QUIT Update Silver Lake NY
August 8-12 New England Yearly Meeting workshops QUIT Update Smithfield, RI
September 24-26 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Quaker Ctr Ben Lomond CA
November 2010 Healing from Life Wounds Powell House Old Chatham NY
November 19-21 Quaker Initiative to End Torture Conference Old Chatham NY
PLEASE SEND A GIFT TO MY ADDRESS BELOW.
Definitions- tax law says a donation carries the expectation of work for which I am taxed.
A gift is given out of respect, affection, or charity, such as
my birthday- May 14, my wedding anniversary- August 26, or a Christmas gift.
P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
IMPORTANT!
Postage is prohibitive. I need to reduce paper mail to actual live Beethoven Letter readers. I am happy to keep you on my Beethoven mailing list Email or paper. Simply send word. Please help by sending your e-mail address to calvij@sover.net or a postcard to P. O. Box 301 Putney VT 05346
Monday, December 7, 2009
World AIDS Day - memories
All day I've felt a bit sad. I've been remembering the arc of AIDS in my
life, what I usually think of as the AIDS WARS. I remember hearing a little
something in August of 83, an article in Time magazine perhaps, about gay
men getting cancer in San Francisco and New York. I was teaching in a
summer camp and quite isolated.
But when I returned to massage school in.Boulder, Colorado, I began to learn
more and seek out more information. I
remember in October going to an informational meeting by the Colorado
department of health and learning what little information they had. Maybe
it was a virus. AIDS as a word had not yet happened. No one was sure yet
how it was spread but probably by body fluids. Not sure about kissing,
except gay men kiss their grandmothers and grannies did not seem to have
AIDS, the doctor said.
I called that doctor soon and offered to give
massage to anyone in Colorado with AIDS whether or not they could pay.
Fortunately, the numbers were still in the single digits and I did massage
on 4 people very soon. 3 became long term clients. 2 were dead in a few
years. Many more were diagnosed and died quickly as we had so little
understanding of the new diseases and none of the existing medicines worked.
Back in Vermont in 85 I taught AIDS 101 at Quaker meetings and in NY
prisons. I became part of the Vermont People with AIDS Coalition and did
tons of massage and teaching there. In 86 my best friend got swollen lymph
nodes and though he wouldn't die for several years, my heart began to break.
I met Marshall and moved to Los Angeles, began to teach with AIDS, Medicine,
and Miracles and did massage with Michael Callen over the years. And then
we moved to Washington DC where John Meyer got me hooked up with AIDS
services and I was hands-on in several hospitals, teaching buddy teams, and
just beginning work with tortured refugees for a change of pace- it was good
to work with people who were not dying.
About this time, my best friend
began to be seriously ill. And that long vigil of support and saying
good-bye began. More friends became ill. Any illness I felt was
terrifying. I was now deeply in love and married in all senses but the
legal one and feared greatly that one of us would become ill and we'd be
among the many sinking low and disappearing and then part of the great flood
of memorials.
I was doing grieving circles at night at Friends General
Conference because there was a need from more grieving than usual life
allowed and these circles were crowded with amazing stories and so many
people.
When we moved back to Vermont, I was relieved of doing regular
hospital visits and the density of memorials. But became part of the rural
work of education and service. Bill, my best friend, began a decline
slowly. He would have a rally and stay strong for a bit. And then some
other infection would bring him low again and his true love did an amazing
job of care, beyond what I could do, I am sure.
And by the time Bill died I was nearly numb to the great pain of the world in this pandemic. It had
become my coming of age in my early 30's and now had squashed my heart and
hope almost two decades later. I still teach about AIDS when I'm invited.
And I still lay hands on people with AIDS as a massage therapist and energy
worker. And a couple of friends, still living, are among the very first
people diagnosed in NYC in the very early 80's.
Recently I worked with a young doctor from Rwanda whose life work has become pediatric AIDS in a
children's hospital. He told me he felt numb and had no emotions left. We
discussed avoiding burnout, the advanced form. And we did some hands-on
work that felt full of Light and well guided from on high. He told me that
in Rwanda he had not seen the worst. I was afraid to ask what that meant in
Rwandan terms.
And this summer I'll return to an AIDS conference I have
been teaching at for more than 20 years. I'll see old dear ones and laugh
and clap my hands as I walk to them calling out in a loud voice Oh For God's
Sake, Are You Still Alive?! And we'll hug and laugh to still be here, still
be doing the work, still be grateful for so many things. And I'll talk
quietly with the newly diagnosed- young girls and boys and some grandmothers
- and find some ways to help them relax and maybe to laugh and maybe dare to
hope that as bad as the news is, they can still do life and do it in a big
way with this new family as an anchor.
I am so honored and exhausted and
proud of what we've survived. I can't imagine a life without this education
that I never signed up for. And I'm so happy to have learned how to get up
each day and work in hell and that to go in smiling created the best chance
to carry Light as far into those dank corners as possible.
I still miss Bill, especially on this day, and listen to his speeches on tape and get
teary. But I remember his living more than his dying and his laughter more
than his tears. I was so dearly looking forward to getting old with him.
Now, I just remember how it felt to be with him and when I see some handsome
man walking down the beach, some part of me smiling inside says - hey Bill,
look at that! It's life itself that draws us on, that bright Light and hope
that we'll see how lovely life is.
life, what I usually think of as the AIDS WARS. I remember hearing a little
something in August of 83, an article in Time magazine perhaps, about gay
men getting cancer in San Francisco and New York. I was teaching in a
summer camp and quite isolated.
But when I returned to massage school in.Boulder, Colorado, I began to learn
more and seek out more information. I
remember in October going to an informational meeting by the Colorado
department of health and learning what little information they had. Maybe
it was a virus. AIDS as a word had not yet happened. No one was sure yet
how it was spread but probably by body fluids. Not sure about kissing,
except gay men kiss their grandmothers and grannies did not seem to have
AIDS, the doctor said.
I called that doctor soon and offered to give
massage to anyone in Colorado with AIDS whether or not they could pay.
Fortunately, the numbers were still in the single digits and I did massage
on 4 people very soon. 3 became long term clients. 2 were dead in a few
years. Many more were diagnosed and died quickly as we had so little
understanding of the new diseases and none of the existing medicines worked.
Back in Vermont in 85 I taught AIDS 101 at Quaker meetings and in NY
prisons. I became part of the Vermont People with AIDS Coalition and did
tons of massage and teaching there. In 86 my best friend got swollen lymph
nodes and though he wouldn't die for several years, my heart began to break.
I met Marshall and moved to Los Angeles, began to teach with AIDS, Medicine,
and Miracles and did massage with Michael Callen over the years. And then
we moved to Washington DC where John Meyer got me hooked up with AIDS
services and I was hands-on in several hospitals, teaching buddy teams, and
just beginning work with tortured refugees for a change of pace- it was good
to work with people who were not dying.
About this time, my best friend
began to be seriously ill. And that long vigil of support and saying
good-bye began. More friends became ill. Any illness I felt was
terrifying. I was now deeply in love and married in all senses but the
legal one and feared greatly that one of us would become ill and we'd be
among the many sinking low and disappearing and then part of the great flood
of memorials.
I was doing grieving circles at night at Friends General
Conference because there was a need from more grieving than usual life
allowed and these circles were crowded with amazing stories and so many
people.
When we moved back to Vermont, I was relieved of doing regular
hospital visits and the density of memorials. But became part of the rural
work of education and service. Bill, my best friend, began a decline
slowly. He would have a rally and stay strong for a bit. And then some
other infection would bring him low again and his true love did an amazing
job of care, beyond what I could do, I am sure.
And by the time Bill died I was nearly numb to the great pain of the world in this pandemic. It had
become my coming of age in my early 30's and now had squashed my heart and
hope almost two decades later. I still teach about AIDS when I'm invited.
And I still lay hands on people with AIDS as a massage therapist and energy
worker. And a couple of friends, still living, are among the very first
people diagnosed in NYC in the very early 80's.
Recently I worked with a young doctor from Rwanda whose life work has become pediatric AIDS in a
children's hospital. He told me he felt numb and had no emotions left. We
discussed avoiding burnout, the advanced form. And we did some hands-on
work that felt full of Light and well guided from on high. He told me that
in Rwanda he had not seen the worst. I was afraid to ask what that meant in
Rwandan terms.
And this summer I'll return to an AIDS conference I have
been teaching at for more than 20 years. I'll see old dear ones and laugh
and clap my hands as I walk to them calling out in a loud voice Oh For God's
Sake, Are You Still Alive?! And we'll hug and laugh to still be here, still
be doing the work, still be grateful for so many things. And I'll talk
quietly with the newly diagnosed- young girls and boys and some grandmothers
- and find some ways to help them relax and maybe to laugh and maybe dare to
hope that as bad as the news is, they can still do life and do it in a big
way with this new family as an anchor.
I am so honored and exhausted and
proud of what we've survived. I can't imagine a life without this education
that I never signed up for. And I'm so happy to have learned how to get up
each day and work in hell and that to go in smiling created the best chance
to carry Light as far into those dank corners as possible.
I still miss Bill, especially on this day, and listen to his speeches on tape and get
teary. But I remember his living more than his dying and his laughter more
than his tears. I was so dearly looking forward to getting old with him.
Now, I just remember how it felt to be with him and when I see some handsome
man walking down the beach, some part of me smiling inside says - hey Bill,
look at that! It's life itself that draws us on, that bright Light and hope
that we'll see how lovely life is.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Simple Complexities
It happened again recently and while it is not frequent, it is also not unusual. I’m at a yearly meeting and a woman comes up to me. She says that in the past few days she realizes that when ever she is standing near me that her neuropathy stops hurting. She laughs and says that since she can’t take me home that I will just have to give her extra to last as long as possible. We both laugh and I give her a long hug while humming a deep bass line perhaps like a very old refrigerator or maybe a dump truck pretending that I was delivering the extra requested. We laugh again. She says thank you and I say it’s my pleasure or it’s my honor.
In this simple exchange a few givens are acknowledged. She feels less pain when near me and we both know this is neither talent nor technique but a spiritual gift that comes through me. I have some responsibility, but ultimately I’m a mere tube some Light is coming through. I have the task of being a good tube. And this includes acknowledging that this gift is not from me. It is not mine, but rather a blessing with origins beyond me. And, like much of spiritual life, beyond words of simple description. It is my lot in life to learn and use and be faithful to this gift.
Some people will hear just that much and conclude relentless ego or he thinks he’s divine. Others will say it’s illusion, imagination, or simply bizarre- beyond their own deep spiritual experience. Part of what will be missed with such dismissals is that I understand the hard work involved in the discipline of such a gift and that I am not important in the transaction, by which I mean the great thing here is the Light itself of which we are all aspects. But I am as separate from that Light as anyone, even as I work to learn more.
Likewise a number of disciplines in the work are not understood. The first being solitude. The intimacy and intensity of having another’s pain pass through you is common among doctors, therapists, clergy and other crisis workers. Solitude to recover and refresh from the work is a common tool. For me it means I need to rest away from others, even during a conference. This can appear to some as a prima Dona taking oneself too seriously. But without an office or office hours how else does one stop work? Once I am up and out in whatever village I am working in, I’m on. I don’t stay in the village and say no to all work. Saying no is work too. Rather, I live and rest at the edge of the village and come into the center when it’s time to work. It’s the living at the edge and it’s imperative that is even less understood by others than the gift itself. The disciplines of opening, closing, washing, and resting I am still learning after all this time. Once grace withdraws, it is only me trying to do my best as just another person, as lost and found as any.
In this simple exchange a few givens are acknowledged. She feels less pain when near me and we both know this is neither talent nor technique but a spiritual gift that comes through me. I have some responsibility, but ultimately I’m a mere tube some Light is coming through. I have the task of being a good tube. And this includes acknowledging that this gift is not from me. It is not mine, but rather a blessing with origins beyond me. And, like much of spiritual life, beyond words of simple description. It is my lot in life to learn and use and be faithful to this gift.
Some people will hear just that much and conclude relentless ego or he thinks he’s divine. Others will say it’s illusion, imagination, or simply bizarre- beyond their own deep spiritual experience. Part of what will be missed with such dismissals is that I understand the hard work involved in the discipline of such a gift and that I am not important in the transaction, by which I mean the great thing here is the Light itself of which we are all aspects. But I am as separate from that Light as anyone, even as I work to learn more.
Likewise a number of disciplines in the work are not understood. The first being solitude. The intimacy and intensity of having another’s pain pass through you is common among doctors, therapists, clergy and other crisis workers. Solitude to recover and refresh from the work is a common tool. For me it means I need to rest away from others, even during a conference. This can appear to some as a prima Dona taking oneself too seriously. But without an office or office hours how else does one stop work? Once I am up and out in whatever village I am working in, I’m on. I don’t stay in the village and say no to all work. Saying no is work too. Rather, I live and rest at the edge of the village and come into the center when it’s time to work. It’s the living at the edge and it’s imperative that is even less understood by others than the gift itself. The disciplines of opening, closing, washing, and resting I am still learning after all this time. Once grace withdraws, it is only me trying to do my best as just another person, as lost and found as any.
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